heartbreak

Today im sad

(via autumn in the fall)

the big, unbelievable work stuff has come to a head in a big and completely unbelievable way. and now things are different. and it doesn't matter that i'm leaving - i can't just wash my hands of it. 

so, forgive me for being vague. i have to. and if i'm not around much. or if i'm posting lots of pictures with very few words. right now, there really are no words.

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dear lucy

Lucy011

dear lucy,

its been two whole years. some days it feels like 10 but most of the time it feels like yesterday.

i still miss you all the time. that habit i had of calling you everyday while i drove home from work? i still wish i could do that. so much that i haven't actually deleted your number from my phone. everyday something happens that i want to tell you about but, unfortunately, there's not an app for that.

and sundays? sundays are still hard. if by chance i need to leave the house really early on a sunday, like last sunday, i go into auto-pilot. last week i almost got off the expressway at the exit for your place. i want nothing more than one more sunday. we'll hang out, watch meerkat manor, you'll tell me about something scandalous you did or were plotting to do, you'll point to shawn's picture and ask how your "easy rider" is doing, we'll giggle a ton and maybe take a nap, holding hands. doesn't that sound fantastic?

love you and miss you bunches,

shana

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smelly goodness

Photo

i spent about 12 years wearing chanel no. 5 every single day. i flirted with other perfumes but i always returned to it. i was devoted, faithful. i never liked the way any other perfume smelled on me and although i didn't particularly like the way chanel smelled in the bottle or on other people, it was perfect on me.

i ran out of chanel almost 2 years ago and never quite got around to replacing it. i've bounced from scent to scent ever since. my latest obsession is black pheonix alchemy lab. there are hundreds of scents and i want to try every single one. and the good news, they send a ton of samples with each order.

my current favorite is "i died for beauty" - its described on their website as "the Venusian splendor of ylang ylang and violet stirred by hyssop, frankincense and grave loam." its lovely.

sorry chanel, i think you've been replaced.

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