tomorrow

tomorrow is november 1. tomorrow i begin national novel writing month again. i've been working on book 2 here and there. i have it outlined. i feel good about some big decisions i've made. i can't seem to write more than a little here and there though. but i want to. i need to. i've got ideas for at least 3 books beyond book 3 and i want to get to work. i enjoyed the discipline of nanowrimo last year. every morning i'd get up, run, write until i hit that day's goal and get on with my day. it was awesome.  that discipline was exactly what i needed. its exactly what i need. i'm hoping to finish book two and keep that discipline in place beyond november in order to finish book 3 by early next year. if i say it here, i have to do it. that's how that works right? i don't have to worry about that until tomorrow though. tomorrow. <deep breath>

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music monday

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300ish words

i get up and stretch. i pull on my pants and find socks. i stop and look at shawn, still in bed, cozy under all those blankets. i tell myself keep moving, shana lee. keep moving. you can sleep in once november is over. i sigh, pull the rest of my clothes on and head out the door. i press play and listen to yoshimi battles the pink robot for the billionth time. i run. i visit my dog friend. i think about what i wrote the day before and think about my outline; what comes next? by the time ‘do you realize?’ starts, its time to head home. when i get home, i put on a crappy old sweater and shawn's giant noise canceling headphones. i turn off the wifi on my computer and i get to work.

the words come easy. mostly. gods help me if i check my word count too soon. a chapter and a half is about right. two chapters is better. when i check the word count too soon I’m almost always 300-ish away from my daily goal - 1700 words. in five days i've done that twice. new rule: no checking until I’ve written two chapters. otherwise those last three hundred are hellish. the words come easily because i've been writing this story for years. the words come easy and writing this way, for nanowrimo, is all forward motion. no editing, no otherthinking. its both mentally exhausting and exhilirating. the words come easy this way. when i check the word count too soon, i start to think too much, i start to question whether or not the description in the paragraph before i checked was descriptive enough. maybe it could use another ten words? this makes the words impossible. 

tomorrow i'll wake up and run. i'll listen to yoshimi. again. i'll change into my crappy old sweater and shawn's fuck off headphones. the words will come easy. i will not check my word count before i've written two chapters. i will not check my word count before i've written two chapters. future shana will thank me when the words come easy.

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wednesday words

delicious. highly pleasing or agreeable to the senses, especially of taste or smell; very pleasant; delightful; a variety of sweet apple whose flesh is often streaked with yellow and red.

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got plans sunday?


if not, you should come see me at the siren nation art & craft sale. its a great chance to support local artists and get a head start on holiday shopping!

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music monday

shawn picked up a copy of the dixie cups album with iko, iko, chapel of love and this song on vinyl last week. its so good. 

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wednesday words

gebärfreudehüfte. child bearing hippiness. (german)

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same diff

i was chugging uphill at a steady clip when i noticed the crows.. a very large murder of crows was hanging out on all the criss-crossing wires over head. i picked up the pace. i wasn't wearing my baseball cap and didn't feel like getting bird poop in my hair. as i was nearing the edge of the danger zone, i saw it and it was headed right for my head. i swiveled at the hips and it missed me. i was certain this maneuver was something i'd learned watching the matrix. i was a bird poop dodging badass.

i looked up and saw a woman headed toward me with her dog. they both appeared to be laughing. at me. "good job not getting pooped on!" she said. so, less matrix, more sprockets.

i don't care. i didn't get pooped on and i crossed the 25,000 word line today. yay, me.

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music monday

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wednesday words

confrustrated. confused and frustrated at the same time.

(i don't care that there's an entry for this word at urbandictionary.com. my genius nephew invented it. because being three is very confrustrating. as lucy said, "its hard being little people.")

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high school confidential

so, what i was writing today takes place in a high school. there were a few chapters way at the beginning of book one that happened in my main character's school but almost all the action has taken place elsewhere, in the world of adults. what i realized, while i was writing today and the words were coming easier than usual, was that i'm good at high school. my high school self would be very confused by this - since i was terrible at high school while it was happening. 

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#selfie

i saw this at target today. i did not buy it but it made me laugh. because yesterday i read this and today my instagram, twitter and facebook feeds are full of #selfie and #feministselfie.

i've had ongoing discussions with friends about selfies. about why some of their daughters post them and about occasionally feeling like a jackass when we occasional post them. and almost all of us do. even shawn does.

i don't know why other people are posting selfies. i know why i do:

i have parents who lives 2000 miles away and like to see my face from time to time.

i spent years avoiding cameras for stupid reasons.

i'm feeling silly. or happy. 

i'm somewhere cool or i want  to mark the moment. 

and sometimes, sometimes my hair just looks fucking awesome. 

but really, it's no one's business. it is not a cry for help and i'm not looking for validation. nor does taking them make me a bad feminist. seriously.

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