300ish words

i get up and stretch. i pull on my pants and find socks. i stop and look at shawn, still in bed, cozy under all those blankets. i tell myself keep moving, shana lee. keep moving. you can sleep in once november is over. i sigh, pull the rest of my clothes on and head out the door. i press play and listen to yoshimi battles the pink robot for the billionth time. i run. i visit my dog friend. i think about what i wrote the day before and think about my outline; what comes next? by the time ‘do you realize?’ starts, its time to head home. when i get home, i put on a crappy old sweater and shawn's giant noise canceling headphones. i turn off the wifi on my computer and i get to work.

the words come easy. mostly. gods help me if i check my word count too soon. a chapter and a half is about right. two chapters is better. when i check the word count too soon I’m almost always 300-ish away from my daily goal - 1700 words. in five days i've done that twice. new rule: no checking until I’ve written two chapters. otherwise those last three hundred are hellish. the words come easily because i've been writing this story for years. the words come easy and writing this way, for nanowrimo, is all forward motion. no editing, no otherthinking. its both mentally exhausting and exhilirating. the words come easy this way. when i check the word count too soon, i start to think too much, i start to question whether or not the description in the paragraph before i checked was descriptive enough. maybe it could use another ten words? this makes the words impossible. 

tomorrow i'll wake up and run. i'll listen to yoshimi. again. i'll change into my crappy old sweater and shawn's fuck off headphones. the words will come easy. i will not check my word count before i've written two chapters. i will not check my word count before i've written two chapters. future shana will thank me when the words come easy.

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you inspire me, lady. endlessly.


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