like a vampire

"...the side of yourself that you always try to hide..."
i have a difficult relationship with mirrors. i have since i was 19 and developed rosacea. at the time i was obsessed with mirrors, constantly worrying about how i looked. but as the rosacea got worse i stopped looking in mirrors, for fear of what i'd see. i developed the ability to check my hair without looking at my face, to apply my makeup with a compact so i could focus on one small part of my face at a time. i still do it to this day, unconsciously, despite my skin's vast improvement and a greater (although not total) comfort with being in my skin. its kind of ridiculous.

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