i am overwhelmed and have been for the last few days. i haven't wanted to talk about this but now i need to. shannon and shawn's cousin mike passed away. today was his funeral. he was 40 years old.
shawn got the call on thursday night. i could hear him on the phone and i knew something was wrong. he came into the living room and said, "i have the worst news..."
i wasn't able to process it all. even seeing this didn't make it real enough. it seemed like some horrible joke.
when i was in my early twenties and drove an incredibly crappy escort, mike came to my rescue on many an occasion. he had just taken over the shop from pat and i don't think i appreciated him nearly as much as i should've. i realize now that i was unfairly comparing him to pat. an unfair comparison for anyone because no one would have been as good as my father-in-law. but mike was good. and patient. there was always something wrong with the car and i was always broke. and he always just took care of it.
fast foward to the summer of '05. mike's wedding. he and beth may have been one of the happiest couples i'd ever seen. and their separate families were becoming one with seemingly little effort. everyone seemed happy. a year and a half seems hardly enough time. that's barely a heartbeat. i've know shawn 18 years and that seems like barely enough time. thinking about losing him takes my breathe away. i can't even imagine what beth and the girls are going through.
life seems really unfair right now. i can't make sense of this. at all. i know that i want to cling to those i love and make sure they know how much i love and appreciate them. because you just never know, do you?